That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
