I am puke
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Come see our sink grown plant.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
