I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
