Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
