Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
