Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
