are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
your like the ambassador to my penis.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
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