Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
cat food counts as protein by the way
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
