I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
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You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
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Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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