Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
