No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize