Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
