I bet he comes in French.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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