A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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