If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
