ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
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ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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