i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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