I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
