Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
