I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize