You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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