I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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