apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
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Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
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She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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