That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
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Holy sore nipples Batman
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I love you. Go after that dick
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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