Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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