I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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