im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
