i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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