Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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