Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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