the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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