i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
