i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
