Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
