If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
