I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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