i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
