So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
