that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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