I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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