How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
