If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
