It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
