So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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