i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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