For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
