Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's shark week go big or go home
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
