WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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