would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize