I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
