Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
