told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
