Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
