i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
