The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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