You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
