is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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