I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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