I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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