fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
