I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We need to rekindle our bromance
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
