god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
