That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
